“Don’t wish it was easier – wish you were better”

We all have a Cross to bear. We will all be beset by mental, physical, emotional, family, financial challenges, diseases or day to day disruptions at some time. Some will escape lightly and others will be burdened with much.

This is a given – it is part of human life.

There have been three defining moments during my past week.

  1. The passing of the Voluntary Assisted Dying Bill into the Queensland Parliament
  2. Speaking to a Pharmacist who is really passionate in increasing the access to Palliative Care.
  3. A story about “The Cross” and Suffering”

Firstly – a comment on the V.A.D Bill – which is littered with opinions, emotion and has this week been voted into law. I have learnt much through my connection over the past few weeks with the Queensland Care Alliance – a group which includes medical doctors, nurses, and psychologists – who have been involved in Palliative Care for decades. Their ideas, thoughts and passion have taught me much about P.C. – and how inadequately funded and explained it has been to date.   

The second is the story of a young Pharmacist who cared for her mother at home for 3 months – after a brain tumour diagnosis. She is now fully supportive of Palliative Care and is driving this through the Pharmacy group she is involved with. She is so thankful that she cared for, improved treatment options and gave her mother the peace, comfort and dignity she requested. She has no regrets and is on a mission to aide her own grief and help many others. She did share that since this experience she has been more aware of the Spiritual part of Life. After all in dealing with trauma, troubles, confusion, important decisions or simply to stabilise and regenerate our bodies – mediation, prayer, silence, counselling – are all important factors to harmony and a Good Life. We seem to leave this Element as an option of last resort in our present society.

The third is a story about Suffering and The Cross. A young boy was suffering a pain challenge and wanted to remove it from his life. He decided to pray and as he did so he held a Cross. It was heavy and reflected his mindset and challenge at the time. He felt this call to climb a mountain to where Jesus was standing in wait.

As he climbed the mountain – the Cross became heavier. So he cut a little bit off. It was easier to carry – but then it became heavy again – so he cut a little more off the Cross. This was repeated a few more times, until he reached the mountain top where Jesus was waiting just a short distance away on another mountain top.

He stretched out his Cross so as to walk to Jesus. However it was too short. The bits of the Cross he had cut off represented the suffering he was meant to bear. This was a challenge he was gifted to accept and to overcome so as to become better. It is the struggle that builds our Character and Self-Esteem.

This blog is not meant to be being morbid or depressing – it is about pondering that no matter what help we can provide or what laws we pass – there will still be suffering, challenges, pain, grief and loss- in life. Amongst all the joy, love, success and achievements that come our way.

Designing a Good Life is about living with Character, with Values so as to become the best version of yourself. It is about finding the Meaning – the gift – of your life. And it is about your Purpose – in giving this gift away.

Most times making changes to our mindset, our behaviours, our habits, our friends, our work associates, our family – is painful. So, is being Responsible and Accountable for our Choices.

However we all will bear at least one Cross or One Pain – The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret

The Pain of Discipline weights far less than the Pain of Regret

Jim Rohn would say: “Don’t wish it was easier – wish you were better”

We can choose to blame, to expect, to deny, to be angry, to be intolerant, to be impatient, to be rude, to hate, to hurt, to be violent, to judge others.

Or we can choose to be Responsible, to be Accountable for our Choices and Decisions and Actions. And live by being patient, generous, empathetic, humble and helpful. We can choose to serve, to give, to support, to listen and improve the 7 important elements of our Life – Family, Faith, Finance, Fun, Leadership, Physical and Emotional Health.

No matter how many laws and rules are passed- the results always depend upon our reaction to a situation and how we accept the opportunity presented by this challenge.

There are some really tough ones. Some we just won’t or can’t win or overcome. We hear these every day. 

However! It is the decision to overcome -to find ways to improve our Wellness Wheel –  to seek help –  to improve what we our able and to accept and be grateful for what we have  – that is admired by others in our life journey.

The stories of enormous dysfunction, pain and disappointment become more and more real to me every day. The types of grief and physical and emotional pain borne by so many – are truly difficult to comprehend.

Yet – so many people still find joy, contentment, acceptance and a way to lead a Good Life.

While so many more with so much – are miserable, complaining and angry with what seems like a challenge free life. 

Maybe we need challenges to live the meaning of the life we were born to lead.

Maybe the noble virtues are ignited when our body and souls are challenged.

There are more and more challenges day by day – disease, poverty of body, mind and spirit.

We are basted by media with more reasons for panic and for fear that could control our life.  I discussed this in my last blog

However there are many more options of technology, knowledge, wisdom, people, innovations, support and solutions as well.

Our – mindset, prayer, friends, reading and openness to find a better way – our also at our disposal. 

We can find ways to enjoy, improve, help, serve, use our gifts, our inner muscles of character, virtue, spirituality or we can pass laws rules and expect them to improve our lives.

When most times it is our choices, decisions, and attitude that need to improve.

What we tell our brain and ultimately believe about ourselves and our life is WHO we become.

Others can help, resources can help, environment can help – but only if we seek it and apply the discipline and mindset to rise above the search for the easy way.

Only if we accept our lot, our Crosses, in life – can we find peace and harmony.

Why is it that a person with no legs and bedridden on an island – can be happier than a person living in Sydney in a mansion overlooking the Harbour?

Maybe it stems from this profound verse:

“The most important words we will ever say – are the words we say to ourselves – about ourselves

 – when we are by ourselves”  Bob Johnston



Stan Kontos