We have shared much over the past 12 months – about choices, habits, leadership, mindset, the Compound Effect, time management of activity and more.
Recently I was reading about Committment Responsibility and Relationships.
The question was asked of the most simple one – a marriage or a committed partnership – between two people.
The question was – how committed does each party need to be to this commitment? The answer that came quickly to mind was 50:50. Seemed to make sense.
However if you extend this scenario to 3 or 4 or 50 people (in a work team for example) – you require 33.3%, 25% and 2% respectively – to ensure commitment to the team and its vision and values. It simply wouldn’t work.
So with two people and their commitment – it really has to be 100%:100%. Even though there would be times when one person is virtually 100% at fault. This would be rare. Both need to 100% committed to the relationship – for it to work long term.
As per the advice in an episode of MASH – What do you do when someone you committed to makes it difficult for you?
Well you love them more!
And what do you do when they their needs or ideas really challenge you?
Well you love them even MORE!
No matter what or why or who or how – a disagreement occurs each person involved is 100% responsible in maintaining and improving the commitment to the team. No matter how big or small the team may be.
Involvement is not committment. Take the Pig and the Hen in bacon and eggs. The Hen is Involved because it produces the eggs. The Pig, however, is 100% COMMITTED.
Day after day we each make choices which have led us to “that” point in time. Our choices are our Responsibility and peace, healing, service, giving, growing, understanding and forgiveness – can only be achieved if all the parties are willing to sacrifice EGO and act with Character and Virtue.
This is the mindset of ABUNDANCE – or as ACTION COACHES call it – Above the Line:
We either decide to be the HERO and Be Optimistic Be Accountable and Be Responsible – for our actions, language, behaviour, choices or we decide to be the VICTIM and Blame others make Excuses or simply Deny.
This is the mindset of SCARCITY. Referred to as Below the Line.
To build a team – whether it be a personal relationship, a work team or a team that meets socially together – each member needs to be 100% committed if that team is going to grow and do the best of which it is capable.
If a business has 5 Core Values – Loyalty/Confidence /Excellence/Honesty/Respect – then 100% commitment is required from all the team members. Each must believe and live them in the business.
Once the commitment or the belief in them reduces to 75% or 50% or 10% – the game is over.
The Victim mindset is even more powerful than the Hero mindset. Humans are programmed for survival – not achievement. New habits are so difficult to create unless there is a big enough WHY!
Our EGO can easily and quickly over ride Humility, Patience, Empathy, Carefulness, Service and Giving.
Our EGO is the pathway to anger, resentment, gossip, division, disruption, distress, vitriol and loneliness.
We are human and we fail day in and day out. We need the help of others. And they need us.
What can we do?
- We could begin our daily journey with an Abundant Mindset and apply OAR and Character in all and with all – throughout our day.
- Be Grateful and Thankful for what we have, who we have, what we can achieve – by being the HERO in our lives and in the lives of others.
We each – unknowingly – influence many people each day.
Let us leave the legacy of Abundance and 100% commitment with them – everyday.